Views on Child Support?

@lisa I agree that there are a lot of deadbeat fathers out here, but as a man, if I was to give my honest opinion…
I do think that the Child support system is in a women’s favor.

a lot of my women friends always tell me that men don’t understand what women go through,
but the same can be said for men. a lot of women don’t understand what men goes through as well. at times it seems as though society tries to tear us down. my issue with the Child support system is that it is too black & white. it is something that should be judged accordingly based on the circumstances of the individuals.

My view(s) on child support is this – I truly believe that the system should be overhauled aka ‘restructured.’ We know that most cases are usually the ones that are sanctioned through this system or via the court system due to no response sent from the requested party, but believe it or not women are sanctioned, too. The system tries to place the child in the best living situation for the child/ren. This system is suppose to SUPPORT the child/ren, ASSIST the child/ren, with the necessities of daily living. This is not a ‘CHECK’ for the custodial parent to live off of as if it is a PAYCHECK. Paychecks comes from jobs. And we all know about state of employment in the United States, as well as the world at large. This is another argument altogther, back to the question at hand. All cases and domestic situations are different, and many people find themselves coming to this agency for assistance for numerous reasons. Situations that you can’t possibly imagine or would believe if you heard them for yourself. Some people in this world will not support the children that they created, they will not acknowledge said children, other people will not support their children claiming that they believe the child is not theirs [lack proof of establishment of paternity], others are product of divorce, some people are taking children across state lines or moving around and withholding visitation and payment as ‘punishment,’ to the other parties because they are mad that they are no longer together with the mother or father [whatever the case may be] that person is with someone else. All kinds of crazy stuff.

I truly believe that child support should be embraced in both ways the father and the mother. Honestly, we are so used to men being placed on child support that men don’t pay it any mind to put the women on child support when they are not doing their part in taking care their child/kids. There are a lot of women who doesn’t take care their kids and should be placed on child support. The reason women are winning in the system is because the majority of men not taking care their kids out weight the women.

When it comes to the whole child support thing, it’s double standards!!! Being that I deal with those cases with the state. I am first hand to see how man are being abused by women and I see how women are single parents out there too. The word “SUPPORT” is to help care for that child/children. It is not for you to go and take care of yourself or share with the next sibling or even take care of bills in the home with it. It should be solely for the child/children(by that I mean to take care of them with personal needs, clothes, shoes, etc). My reason being is, if the support was not there we as parents will still need to make sure that the child/children’s have a roof over their head and utilities expenses paid because they did not ask to be here. You have kids that have parents that are deceased and the single parent that’s left raising that child still have to go on with care for that child/children. Now does some women goes over board with the child “YES” some if they get a baller, athlete, or even a celebrity it’s a rep, they hit the jack pot. Now is there a lot of grown man that are still in a little boy mentality “HELL YEAH” and deserve it!!! I strongly agree. Now are there some real man out there that are willing to take care of their kids and deserve for that child support to be thrown out YES! It’s a double standard and it’ssomething that Would never be understood. It’s a shame on both parts you ask me!!!

@marline i disagree when you say that it shouldn’t be to pay bills or split with the other siblings… One, that child lives in that house which requires lights, food, water etc, if this isn’t provided how am I taking care of the kid/kids… Two, if the sibling needs something and I have that cs money for one child, yes I’m using it to care for the other as well, shit this is a team in my house (speaking in general)… Three, a child does not need 300 to 500 dollars or however much you get a month for that child, so what is the mother to do with the rest, I say bank it and save or pay bills with it… There’s no way a mother gonna provide clothing one month and the next month a bill needs to be paid and she gonna be like oh no I can’t touch that, its for his child… Screw that ma’am put that light bill on this cs card, thank you…. what ppl needs to understand is that cs is to take care of whatever needs the child cannot live without and that requires everything that I’m holding down in the house… Not to just put clothes on the child’s bank… Whatever comes up short and you have some cs money…..use that cs money#period

@wordsmith my answer wasnt even that technical… Either I could dummy down or either you could smarten up. I told you to patrol the website, not to troll the website… You starting to get a little bit too thirsty! Calm down!????⏳?

I totally agree with Julie…IF NEED BE…support other siblings and pay a bill or two….I mean one
Brother/Sister wouldn’t want for the other to go without just because the CS isn’t for him/her and pay whatever bill that needs to be payed as long as the child that the CS is for lives under that roof.

First off having a child is a big responsibility, your child is suppose to get your last… Even if you’re on cs and your bm fuck up the money, then call you and ask for diapers, that’s your child, take your ass out there and get the damn diapers, or would you rather for your child to be shitty and pissy till bm get it because you probably pissed at her… at the end of the day if you see your bm calling you for diapers on a monthly basis or whatever, why not you take the initiative and just keep a pack or two at your place so when the bitch do call you for diapers, you can throw them shits in her face… Now that’s being a father to your child and not a statistic (father on child support)

And sometimes the cs isn’t enough for the mom, which is probably the reason why she’s reaching out to you for more help… no big deal just go get the baby some diapers please… Do you think some mother’s be wanting to deal with y’all about things they need for their child, no they do it because they have to, which most of the time she shouldn’t have to, you see how little they taking out your check, you yourself knows that’s not enough, be productive and provide more for your child, even if you have to keep it at your house as spare, do it damn that’s your child, why tf do some ppl make parenting so dam hard

I’m not speaking from experience because my baby straight… He’s 10 and doesn’t need diapers… My baby father is an excellent dad, so just to clarify that part…. Two, all I am saying is the baby did not ask to be here, neither did the child choose their parents, you guys choose each other so whatever whoever is doing just make sure the baby had what he or she needs by any means necessary, because the child had no control over what the mother does with the cs… At the end of the day that is your child along with hers but if she is clearly irresponsible, just have a back up plan for YOUR baby… That’s the bottom line, take care of the baby, it’s not hard… But I get your point yes the mother should make sure the baby is straight before she fuck up the money but if she is an irresponsible mother, the child should not have to suffer is all I’m saying… My whole point is just make sure the baby is good, rather you’re doing more or whatever, that’s your child… You already know majority of the time the system is on the mother side so you’ve lost in that dept, but as his father and the love you have for your child go get the diapers… I’m sure you will then know you have a sorry ass bm, so just have a back up plan to make sure your child doesn’t go without by keeping extra stuff at your house if you can… That’s all I’m saying… That’s just like us as mother’s when you guys are not on cs and choose not to do for your child as a mother by all means we gonna make sure our child doesn’t go without…shit some of yall father’s doesn’t realize it’s more to taking care of a child than buying things for them… Shit half of the father’s out there doesn’t even go to school conferences for their child, doctor visits, let alone even be great role models for them or even be there when they are sick, but best and believe them mother’s gonna come through..#team take care of the child?

• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie Gelin.

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• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie Gelin.

Lol @ word . don’t come for me unless I send for you?

But you have some good points too???

@wordsmith man shut up. She’s a grown women, she dont need me to put my 2cents in to defend her. She can handle you on her own. And beside im not on her side in this debate. I see thing more so from the men’s perspective because im a man and I know a lot of dudes who tell me how the system is not in their favor

But Yall both made great points as well as everybody esle who shared their opinion. Also, this is a free and public website, im not responsible for anyones content. That means that everyone is free to say what they wanna say. Why you trying to give people the impression that im supervising the website. Stop it. The spirit of wordfencing is so that people can share their thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. Regardless of how different it maybe from others.

@julie… lmao….. you went in sis…

Yeah she shore did!
this is a great topic because I think that peoples views on this subject is a little different.

@lakeisha very well said

Alot of women put their kids father on child support out of spite. But they sometimes sell them selfs short bcuz child support inforces the father 2 pay pennies compared to how much it cost to really take care of a child. Then if he misses payment or 2 his license may get suspended or worse thrown in jail…who does this help…not the mom not the child not even the state wins bcuz they are forced to pay for his stay while he sits in the county jail awaiting a court date. The mom doesn’t even have to work yet she isprovided with a lawyer by the state while the father sits in court praying for leniency.
All these issues just further complicate the relations bewteen the father and child.
I think child support is the most ridiculous rights for kids that America could have came up with. ..notice i said the chils support system and not child support itself .

Fairness gets kicked out the door when emotions are involved, unfortunately.

Wow I sat here and read through all of the comments very interesting conversation. I thing that the system does needs some changes, but it should be judged on a case by case basis

This one makes me kinda numb! I know what fair is and what right is. I agree with various scenarios previously because I have seen and heard throughout the years those examples and input regarding this subject matter. I just hope one day it actually does what initially intended and aide those in need no matter what its for the children!My case was an interstate child support so each time he relocated it started again! I gave up years ago lolol. When I tried to get help I received $16.00 a month food stamps and was advised to have another child . I find it hilarious because I cant relate to what the system is supposed to do for any parent or child who truly needs it . I just know I go to work and everyday I hustle hard….

@ Lisa . Its funny, I wanted to write a book on this but I was like I may go too deep!….. I just pray on it, God doesn’t sleep 🙂

@mask appeal I keep getting cold feet its so much I could say lololol I try to remain humble thats the only way to be blessed. Thanks for encouraging me on that.