Views on Child Support?

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  • #1543
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    What is your view on child support?

    +11
    #1545
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    when it comes to this subject, men and women usually disagree. I think that a lot of women tries to take advantage of men. and it seems like the system is all in favor of women.

    +10
    #1546
    Lisa LorenLisa Loren
    Participant

    ohhh boy please don’t get me started on this one. I would have to take a breath before I could answer. there are too many deadbeat father out there, so the system have to be in our favor, which I don’t think that it is.

    +6
    #1553
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    @lisa I agree that there are a lot of deadbeat fathers out here, but as a man, if I was to give my honest opinion…
    I do think that the Child support system is in a women’s favor.

    a lot of my women friends always tell me that men don’t understand what women go through,
    but the same can be said for men. a lot of women don’t understand what men goes through as well. at times it seems as though society tries to tear us down. my issue with the Child support system is that it is too black & white. it is something that should be judged accordingly based on the circumstances of the individuals.

    +11
    #1555
    Sky RobertsSky Roberts
    Participant

    Great topic. I do agree that Child support should be based on your circumstances, but correct me if I’ wrong, but don’t they base it off of your circumstances. not trying to be sarcastic. I am actually asking it as a legitimate question.

    +7
    #1556
    Wanderers PathWanderers Path
    Participant

    My view(s) on child support is this – I truly believe that the system should be overhauled aka ‘restructured.’ We know that most cases are usually the ones that are sanctioned through this system or via the court system due to no response sent from the requested party, but believe it or not women are sanctioned, too. The system tries to place the child in the best living situation for the child/ren. This system is suppose to SUPPORT the child/ren, ASSIST the child/ren, with the necessities of daily living. This is not a ‘CHECK’ for the custodial parent to live off of as if it is a PAYCHECK. Paychecks comes from jobs. And we all know about state of employment in the United States, as well as the world at large. This is another argument altogther, back to the question at hand. All cases and domestic situations are different, and many people find themselves coming to this agency for assistance for numerous reasons. Situations that you can’t possibly imagine or would believe if you heard them for yourself. Some people in this world will not support the children that they created, they will not acknowledge said children, other people will not support their children claiming that they believe the child is not theirs [lack proof of establishment of paternity], others are product of divorce, some people are taking children across state lines or moving around and withholding visitation and payment as ‘punishment,’ to the other parties because they are mad that they are no longer together with the mother or father [whatever the case may be] that person is with someone else. All kinds of crazy stuff.

    +9
    #1577
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    Yeah i agree, the word support is often overlooked when it comes to child support. Money brings out the evil in people. Because money is power and power can be abused.

    +9
    #1801
    Tawana NealyTawana Nealy
    Participant

    I truly believe that child support should be embraced in both ways the father and the mother. Honestly, we are so used to men being placed on child support that men don’t pay it any mind to put the women on child support when they are not doing their part in taking care their child/kids. There are a lot of women who doesn’t take care their kids and should be placed on child support. The reason women are winning in the system is because the majority of men not taking care their kids out weight the women.

    +8
    #1804
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    But why do some men with about what the mother is doing with the cs money.. That’s the part that kills me… like why is that your business as long as your child is taking care of it shouldn’t matter right

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie GelinJulie Gelin.
    +5
    #1807
    Marline RobinsonMarline Robinson
    Participant

    When it comes to the whole child support thing, it’s double standards!!! Being that I deal with those cases with the state. I am first hand to see how man are being abused by women and I see how women are single parents out there too. The word “SUPPORT” is to help care for that child/children. It is not for you to go and take care of yourself or share with the next sibling or even take care of bills in the home with it. It should be solely for the child/children(by that I mean to take care of them with personal needs, clothes, shoes, etc). My reason being is, if the support was not there we as parents will still need to make sure that the child/children’s have a roof over their head and utilities expenses paid because they did not ask to be here. You have kids that have parents that are deceased and the single parent that’s left raising that child still have to go on with care for that child/children. Now does some women goes over board with the child “YES” some if they get a baller, athlete, or even a celebrity it’s a rep, they hit the jack pot. Now is there a lot of grown man that are still in a little boy mentality “HELL YEAH” and deserve it!!! I strongly agree. Now are there some real man out there that are willing to take care of their kids and deserve for that child support to be thrown out YES! It’s a double standard and it’ssomething that Would never be understood. It’s a shame on both parts you ask me!!!

    +4
    #1808
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    @Marline you make a good point. Thats why i said that it should be judged based on the circumstances. There’s some real hardcore deadbeats out their, also their are some good dudes who are affected negatively by the system

    +6
    #1827
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    @marline i disagree when you say that it shouldn’t be to pay bills or split with the other siblings… One, that child lives in that house which requires lights, food, water etc, if this isn’t provided how am I taking care of the kid/kids… Two, if the sibling needs something and I have that cs money for one child, yes I’m using it to care for the other as well, shit this is a team in my house (speaking in general)… Three, a child does not need 300 to 500 dollars or however much you get a month for that child, so what is the mother to do with the rest, I say bank it and save or pay bills with it… There’s no way a mother gonna provide clothing one month and the next month a bill needs to be paid and she gonna be like oh no I can’t touch that, its for his child… Screw that ma’am put that light bill on this cs card, thank you…. what ppl needs to understand is that cs is to take care of whatever needs the child cannot live without and that requires everything that I’m holding down in the house… Not to just put clothes on the child’s bank… Whatever comes up short and you have some cs money…..use that cs money#period

    +3
    #1828
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    And even though a parent is working, things are still hard and that’s when the extra help from cs plays a part, especially if the mother is single… IDC what the mother uses the money for her hair, nails, heels or whatever, she’s taking care of that child every day, working hard, paying bills and some father’s only get their child on weekends, soooooooooo yes after she done did all that throughout every single week, shit yes let that lady splurge on that cs money if that’s all she have left at the end of the month and the child is straight… she deserves it

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie GelinJulie Gelin.
    +4
    #1830
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    @wordfencing yall done started some shit… This shit getting juicy. @lisaloren you cute @sky your answer was short but you made some good points. @Tawana you made some good points as well. @”mask” you a ol sherlock holmes ass nigga. You answering the questions like you solving a damn puzzle. @Marline came hard @”julie” came back harder. I got my popcorn on deck. Lets get ready to rumble.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Word SmithWord Smith.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Word SmithWord Smith.
    +6
    #1833
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    And plus the cs and the employment money the mother makes is a household income, everything and everybody in the house gets taking care of… that cs becomes apart of your monthly income… use it for whatever needs you have to take care of… Not using it is like having two cars one for the weekend and one for the weekdays, and the weekday car breaks down but you can’t get in the other one because its for weekend use only, so now you’re struggling for transportation… Hahaha get out of here……. think that’s a good caparison?????????

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie GelinJulie Gelin.
    +5
    #1835
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    @wordsmith my answer wasnt even that technical… Either I could dummy down or either you could smarten up. I told you to patrol the website, not to troll the website… You starting to get a little bit too thirsty! Calm down!????⏳?

    +6
    #1836
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    Lmaooooooooo@ mask

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie GelinJulie Gelin.
    +4
    #1856
    Chelle NealyChelle Nealy
    Participant

    I totally agree with Julie…IF NEED BE…support other siblings and pay a bill or two….I mean one
    Brother/Sister wouldn’t want for the other to go without just because the CS isn’t for him/her and pay whatever bill that needs to be payed as long as the child that the CS is for lives under that roof.

    +4
    #1863
    Lisa LorenLisa Loren
    Participant

    My thing is whatever you as a parent want to do with that child support money, its up to you. But the point is you should never abuse that money by spending it all on yourself. Which i know for a fact that a lot of this females out here do. As least they doing it out here in Oakland.

    +5
    #2090
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    The one thing i hate about child support is. When you have to pay it, but then your baby ma still expect you to buy other stuff as well. If im already paying child support why should I have buy diapers and things like that.

    +4
    #2101
    Tawana NealyTawana Nealy
    Participant

    @word Smith.. that is true doe. My sister @Julie will be happy to answer that question

    +7
    #2130
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    First off having a child is a big responsibility, your child is suppose to get your last… Even if you’re on cs and your bm fuck up the money, then call you and ask for diapers, that’s your child, take your ass out there and get the damn diapers, or would you rather for your child to be shitty and pissy till bm get it because you probably pissed at her… at the end of the day if you see your bm calling you for diapers on a monthly basis or whatever, why not you take the initiative and just keep a pack or two at your place so when the bitch do call you for diapers, you can throw them shits in her face… Now that’s being a father to your child and not a statistic (father on child support)

    +3
    #2131
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    That child has nothing to do with why the momma didn’t use the cs for his or diapers, they just want the diaper on their asses

    +2
    #2132
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    And sometimes the cs isn’t enough for the mom, which is probably the reason why she’s reaching out to you for more help… no big deal just go get the baby some diapers please… Do you think some mother’s be wanting to deal with y’all about things they need for their child, no they do it because they have to, which most of the time she shouldn’t have to, you see how little they taking out your check, you yourself knows that’s not enough, be productive and provide more for your child, even if you have to keep it at your house as spare, do it damn that’s your child, why tf do some ppl make parenting so dam hard

    +4
    #2140
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    @ Julie sorry I know you one of Mask people, but imma have to go in on you with this one. it seem like you in your feelings. You making point based on your experience, but im talking about overall in general. 1St off you said if your bm fucked up the money, like im just suppose to easily overlook that. Its both parents responsibility to be responsible. The money is coming out of my check for the specific reason of me not having to buy diapers. Plus what you say is like, if I have a job and I get paid $800 every 2 weeks, if im careless and spend up all of my money, i cant go back to my job and ask them for $20 more dollars before the next time i get paid.

    You only looking at it from your standpoint as the mother, but its 2 side to everything. Alotta times the dude who on CS got other kids they gotta provide for, plus nigga got bills, cars notes, rent. Even if thats my child that doesnt mean that i got the money to spend on top of the money thats already coming outta ny check. If the baby dont have diapers who’s to blame? You wanna blame me as the father for not giving you extra money to buy diapers, but its your responsibility as the mother to buy the baby diapers with the money that im giving
    You.THATS WHY IT IS CALLED CHILD SUPPORT. The money is so that you could support the child, not so you could fuck it up.

    Also, when you say they taking little outta y i ur check, it goes according to how much you make.
    Shit if they only taking little, its because im only making a little.

    +8
    #2179
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    I’m not speaking from experience because my baby straight… He’s 10 and doesn’t need diapers… My baby father is an excellent dad, so just to clarify that part…. Two, all I am saying is the baby did not ask to be here, neither did the child choose their parents, you guys choose each other so whatever whoever is doing just make sure the baby had what he or she needs by any means necessary, because the child had no control over what the mother does with the cs… At the end of the day that is your child along with hers but if she is clearly irresponsible, just have a back up plan for YOUR baby… That’s the bottom line, take care of the baby, it’s not hard… But I get your point yes the mother should make sure the baby is straight before she fuck up the money but if she is an irresponsible mother, the child should not have to suffer is all I’m saying… My whole point is just make sure the baby is good, rather you’re doing more or whatever, that’s your child… You already know majority of the time the system is on the mother side so you’ve lost in that dept, but as his father and the love you have for your child go get the diapers… I’m sure you will then know you have a sorry ass bm, so just have a back up plan to make sure your child doesn’t go without by keeping extra stuff at your house if you can… That’s all I’m saying… That’s just like us as mother’s when you guys are not on cs and choose not to do for your child as a mother by all means we gonna make sure our child doesn’t go without…shit some of yall father’s doesn’t realize it’s more to taking care of a child than buying things for them… Shit half of the father’s out there doesn’t even go to school conferences for their child, doctor visits, let alone even be great role models for them or even be there when they are sick, but best and believe them mother’s gonna come through..#team take care of the child?

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie GelinJulie Gelin.
    +5
    #2181
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    Three if you have a car note, obviously you can’t afford that car and take care of your child… Take the car back that you’re making payments on, go get you a car cash and use that money to take care of the child??????????????????

    +5
    #2182
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    ??????????????????

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Julie GelinJulie Gelin.
    +2
    #2187
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    Ok Good! I see your point now. Im glad you Clarified that shit Ms. Julie, because i was bout to dig deeper into that ass… #doodoodeep ??????

    +3
    #2188
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    Lol @ word . don’t come for me unless I send for you?

    But you have some good points too???

    +3
    #2255
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    Ok cool, I wont come for you… But you could send for me any day……….Okay let me leave you alone before Mask come putting his 2cents in……You know how he be acting like he the supervisor or something.

    +6
    #2262
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    @wordsmith man shut up. She’s a grown women, she dont need me to put my 2cents in to defend her. She can handle you on her own. And beside im not on her side in this debate. I see thing more so from the men’s perspective because im a man and I know a lot of dudes who tell me how the system is not in their favor

    But Yall both made great points as well as everybody esle who shared their opinion. Also, this is a free and public website, im not responsible for anyones content. That means that everyone is free to say what they wanna say. Why you trying to give people the impression that im supervising the website. Stop it. The spirit of wordfencing is so that people can share their thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. Regardless of how different it maybe from others.

    +8
    #2267
    Julie GelinJulie Gelin
    Participant

    Right @ mask

    +5
    #2289
    Tawana NealyTawana Nealy
    Participant

    @julie… lmao….. you went in sis…

    +4
    #2290
    Tawana NealyTawana Nealy
    Participant

    Heheheheheheheh… lol

    +8
    #2291
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    Yeah she shore did!
    this is a great topic because I think that peoples views on this subject is a little different.

    +7
    #2398
    Lakeisha SingletaryLakeisha Singletary
    Participant

    I hate when women abuse the system by putting a man who takes care of his child/children on child support because she is either angry at the fact that the guy has moved on or for her own selfish needs.. NOW! There are guys who are well deserving of being put on child support. Those who live life as if they dont have children and those who come and go when they want. Now as far as how the money is spent it depends. I feel as if as long as that child is fully taken care of it doesn’t matter how the money is spent. My issue is when the mom takes the money and blow it all on herself and the child is improperly taken care of..

    +10
    #2953
    Lashawn WilliamstonLashawn Williamston
    Participant

    @lakeisha very well said

    +9
    #2960
    Tawana NealyTawana Nealy
    Participant

    That’s true @lakeisha… I don’t think k the mom should misuse the money if the child isn’t property taken cared if… ?

    +5
    #3111
    Lonnie ClantonLonnie Clanton
    Participant

    Alot of women put their kids father on child support out of spite. But they sometimes sell them selfs short bcuz child support inforces the father 2 pay pennies compared to how much it cost to really take care of a child. Then if he misses payment or 2 his license may get suspended or worse thrown in jail…who does this help…not the mom not the child not even the state wins bcuz they are forced to pay for his stay while he sits in the county jail awaiting a court date. The mom doesn’t even have to work yet she isprovided with a lawyer by the state while the father sits in court praying for leniency.
    All these issues just further complicate the relations bewteen the father and child.
    I think child support is the most ridiculous rights for kids that America could have came up with. ..notice i said the chils support system and not child support itself .

    +8
    #3118
    Word SmithWord Smith
    Participant

    I agree! And that was my point. The child support system is not in the father’s favor.

    +8
    #6467
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    Fairness gets kicked out the door when emotions are involved, unfortunately.

    +7
    #6532
    Larry GeorgeLarry George
    Participant

    Well I think that the system is definitely in a women favor overall.
    when it comes to certain issues men can win, and when it comes to certain issues women can win.

    +6
    #8174
    Isabella GonzalezIsabella Gonzalez
    Participant

    Wow I sat here and read through all of the comments very interesting conversation. I thing that the system does needs some changes, but it should be judged on a case by case basis

    +5
    #8910
    Danny WestloDanny Westlo
    Participant

    me should not pay for children which is mines. in my country this is bad

    +5
    #9257
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    This one makes me kinda numb! I know what fair is and what right is. I agree with various scenarios previously because I have seen and heard throughout the years those examples and input regarding this subject matter. I just hope one day it actually does what initially intended and aide those in need no matter what its for the children!My case was an interstate child support so each time he relocated it started again! I gave up years ago lolol. When I tried to get help I received $16.00 a month food stamps and was advised to have another child . I find it hilarious because I cant relate to what the system is supposed to do for any parent or child who truly needs it . I just know I go to work and everyday I hustle hard….

    +7
    #9400
    Lisa LorenLisa Loren
    Participant

    @Arlicia wow girl, that situation sound very crazy. Also, that beyond crossing the line telling you to just have another child.

    +7
    #9512
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @ Lisa . Its funny, I wanted to write a book on this but I was like I may go too deep!….. I just pray on it, God doesn’t sleep 🙂

    +7
    #9517
    Mask AppealMask Appeal
    Participant

    @Arlicia you should write a book on it. I will definitely buy it.

    +7
    #9601
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @mask appeal I keep getting cold feet its so much I could say lololol I try to remain humble thats the only way to be blessed. Thanks for encouraging me on that.

    +6
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